5 Unattractive Personality Traits That Are Ruining Your Life

Some of us often find ourselves driving partners and potential lovers away. We’re left wondering if it’s something we said or did, or if it’s simply our personality that makes us a bonafide partner-repellant.

Well, there are, in fact, some unattractive personality traits that will make any girl run for the hills.

We have to face cold hard facts here, people — looking like a Greek god will only get you so far. It’s a foot in the door, sure, and it will get you a lot of phone numbers scribbled on cocktail napkins and a few dates that will inevitably end between the sheets.

But if your good looks come with a side of unattractive behavior, you’ll find yourself waking up alone more often than not.

Overcoming these unattractive personality traits isn’t that difficult. However, to be able to overcome them, we must first identify them.

In other words, to solve the issues, we must first become painfully aware of and acquainted with them.

Unattractive Personality Traits

Identifying Unattractive Behavior 

Men often accuse women of not knowing what they want. We’re not here as referees in centuries-old gender disputes, but we will say this — women might not know what they want, but they sure know what they don’t want. But do you?

Identifying unattractive behavior and pinpointing the exact moves, words, or actions that lead you to yet another failed date is imperative for all men.

Well, at least those interested in making any kind of meaningful relationship with women. Identification is the first step in turning your behavior from unattractive to attractive. 

1 - Lack of Confidence

Some men might say that a lack of confidence is better than being cocky. Women, after all, don’t appreciate that particular brand of courage that borders on arrogance.

While that’s true, we must point out that there’s a fine line between something being a turn-on and a turn-off. That’s the difference between being self-assured and pretentious — you either get the girl or you don’t.

What’s Better — A Cocky Prancing Tiger or a Small Timid Mouse?

A complete and utter lack of confidence is perhaps the worst option there is (at least when it comes to dating).

It’s one of the most unattractive personality traits that’s probably ruining your chances with women. 

Men who have no confidence need to constantly be reassured that they are doing well. Who wants someone they need to continually pat on the back to keep their backbone from going metaphorically limp?

Confidence is hot. It’s sexy and gives out the impression that not only does that man know what he wants, but he also isn’t afraid to go and get it.

So, a confident man will be perceived as a goal-getter. 

On the other hand, a man who has no confidence is often perceived as weak of spirit. Rather than facing problems head-on, he’d run and hide.

Of course, that’s not necessarily true, but reality has little to do with women’s perception of it, does it?

Effects of lack of confidence

2 - Distanced Body Language

When we’re just getting to know someone, we say more with our body language than we do with our words.

Just think about it:

When you’re out and about (in a club or a bar, perhaps), you can’t really communicate verbally with your potential partner. But, you can say a lot with your body language.

We send a lot of signals to people around us with body language. For example, expansive posture might send out signals that we’re approachable and confident.


There are a lot of signals we can send out that make us look disinterested and distanced.

Are you prone to avoiding eye contact while you’re talking to your potential partner? Do your hands often find a resting place crossed over your chest or propped on your hips?

Well, then we have some bad news for you. Women probably perceive you as stand-offish and disinterested. 

That is especially true if you’re putting too much space between yourself and your partner, or if you’re blocking their path to you with an object or another person. 

It’s a no-brainer why that is one of the worst unattractive personality traits. All these physical cues give out the impression that you aren’t approachable or interested.

And, unlike men who can be relentless in their pursuit of their partners, women usually don’t enjoy engaging men who aren’t interested in talking to them (or at least don’t seem to be interested).

3 - Lack of (Common) Interests

Who wants a dull conversationalist? No one.

When women have someone across from them who isn’t really contributing to the conversation because he doesn’t have anything to contribute with, women often jump ship. 

A man who has no interests, hobbies, or passions is not only uninteresting but also difficult to engage.

Men like this often rely quite heavily on external factors when it comes to defying themselves. That means that they are a potential dependant partner.

They are also difficult to connect with. While gushing about their passion or a hobby, something they are genuinely passionate about, women who don’t get a similar response from their partners quickly lose interest.

Having hobbies and interests means that there’s a distinct enthusiasm for learning or experiencing new things. Women want someone who will match their passion with a similar, ideally equally as intense devotion.

Now, an interest doesn’t have to be an obsession. After all, that might even be worse than having no hobbies at all.

Still, a noticeable lack of interests is one of the worst unattractive personality traits.

4 - Extreme Negativity

By nature, humans respond more intensely and more vigorously to adverse events, behaviors, things, and emotions.

This negative bias of focusing on negative stimuli and obsessing over it is quite reasonable.


Saying that someone is focusing on the negative rather than the positive can be somewhat of a pot-kettle situation.

However, some people really spend a lot of their energy on being negative. They are always anticipating the worst, expecting a catastrophe, and dwelling on things that aren’t going their way.

What’s more, while they are doing that, they usually whine about the unfairness of the universe that has it out for them.

In other words, negative people often avoid taking responsibility. Sure, we all partake in a lot of bad situations in our lives.

In some of them, we’re active participants. In others, we’re nothing more than a fly on the wall that got caught up in a scheme that wasn’t of our own making. 

It’s how we deal with both types of situations that define who we are as a person and as a partner.

A perpetually negative person will burden their potential partner with constant whining and essentially scare them off.

People, and especially men, need to realize that they have to deal with their own stuff in life and roll with the punches. Treating a potential partner as a therapist and constantly unloading a bucketload of negativity on her head will get you nowhere.

5 - Neediness

Women want to feel desired and wanted.


Showing too much interest and displaying behavior that borders on neediness is one of the surefire ways to chase away a potential partner.

Because that’s what women need — a partner. They need an equal, someone who can live and function without them (but would prefer not to).

Neediness is a perpetual, excessive need for affection, reassurance, and attention. It sounds cute and loving on paper.

What woman wouldn’t want to be the sole source of affection for a man she’s with and the only target of his attention?

It turns out, plenty of women wouldn’t like that.

The Number One Attraction Killer

When men become too needy, they show weakness.

Telling men not to show weakness in front of females might sound archaic to some people.

But out of all unattractive personality traits, neediness is one of the few that have little to do with gender. 

Everyone wants an emotionally reliable partner they can lean on. If only one of the partners is pulling their weight, so to speak, and is shouldering the burden of two, then they’ll quickly lose respect for their significant other. 


Neediness can quickly turn from cute to unattractive behavior because it stems from insecurity. Needy men usually don’t feel confident enough.

They either believe they don’t deserve their partner and are willing to do anything to keep them (including clinging to them for dear life), or they believe their partner will leave them and are desperate to stop that.

Either way, neediness is closely followed by desperation, fear, and insecurity.

Once a man starts reeking of these emotions (and believe us, you can actually smell the desperation), the woman will quickly begin to wonder what she’s doing with her current partner, considering that he needs her more than she needs him.

traits of highly attractive people

How to Change Your Behavior From Unattractive to Attractive

When it comes to unattractive personality traits, as long as you can recognize them, you can change them.

Making ourselves attractive means working hard on all our personality traits — honing the best ones and eliminating or at least diminishing the worst. 

Introspection takes a lot of time and even more guts. We have to dig deep down inside of our psyche to see which of the unattractive behavior might have been our downfall so far (romantically speaking). 

We’re all quick to proclaim that we aren’t needy, dull, negative, etc., and we’re even quicker to sing odes to our own confidence.

But no matter how amazing we think we are, we can always work more on balancing the most important traits and eliminating unattractive behavior.

The Long Road to Confidence and Self-Esteem

Men who are truly confident in themselves and their abilities will attract women without any issues.

When we show those around us that we know our own worth and are demanding our due respect, people will be more inclined to give it to us. 

Luckily, we can all get to that point (although the road for some of us might be long and hard).

There are specific things that are holding us back and destroying our self-esteem bit by bit. We all know what they are, and many of us are avoiding them like the plague. 

Working on your confidence means facing those things head-on and finding solutions. Do you have body image issues?

Change the way you look. Eat healthier, workout, join a gym — anything that will get you closer to your goal.

It doesn’t really matter what the goal is (getting fitter, smarter, a better education, etc.), as long as you keep working toward the goal, you’ll see a quick increase in your confidence levels.

The Science of Approachability

As we already mentioned, body language is imperative when it comes to attractiveness. You want to look both interested and interesting as well as approachable.

That’s going to be hard to achieve with a hunched back or your arms crossed.

So, when you’re engaging a woman you’d like to see a lot of in the future, try to show her you’re excited.

We don’t mean flail your limbs around. Instead, try to maintain an open body language that invites your potential partner in, rather than sending the signals that you aren’t attracted to them. 

how to be flirty

Passion — Not With a Sizzle But With a Bang

Being passionate about something that isn’t you and your immediate needs is one of the sexiest traits a man can have.

It’s definitely one that’s a long way from those unattractive personality traits we’ve been raging about. 

Being passionate means having clear goals and not letting anything get in your way of meeting them. It also means being enthusiastic about the object of your passion and freely sharing it with others.

When we love what we do, it shows. Women who recognize the flicker of emotion in a man’s eye are more likely to believe that you’ll show the same passion for them as well.

Honesty — Always the Best Policy

If you ask any woman anywhere in the world, what the most significant issue men have is, they’ll tell you that it’s either insecurity or dishonesty.

As you can see, those are both things that you can work on. 

Honesty means so much more than simply telling the truth. Many men confuse honesty with bluntness or even rudeness.


Being honest with your partner or a potential partner means showing vulnerability. It means bearing everything that you are and offering it up for not only judgment but also possible rejection.

That takes guts! 

Enough With the Neediness

Avoiding being the “clingy” one in the relationship isn’t easy, especially when you’re battling self-esteem issues.

But, rather than turning to your partner and focusing all your efforts on them, you should definitely look for a solution a bit closer to home.

Focusing on yourself and making sure that your life is as well-rounded as possible, that your needs, passions, and desires are fulfilled as much as they can be is the number one step in overcoming unattractive personality traits such as neediness.

Taking care of yourself is essential because when we do that, we become more independent.

A Few Parting Words

Confidence, self-esteem, and self-respect are the main personality traits that define a man. Unfortunately, they are also the ones that can quickly take a turn for the worse.

In a blink of an eye, they can become unattractive personality traits that will turn your romantic life into a nightmare. To avoid that, consider working on bettering yourself.

As long as you aren’t happy with who you are, no one else won’t be either. After all, if you can’t love yourself, how will you love someone else?

Become Suave!

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