8 Life Saving Tips: How to Communicate With Your Girlfriend

Does it feel like you and your girlfriend are growing apart? Are you feeling lonely in your relationship? Does it seem like the intimacy the two of you once had is gone? If you’re not sure how to communicate with your girlfriend anymore, this guide is for you.

The most common mistake partners make in such situations is ignoring their problems and expecting time to mend them all. They say they are having communication issues and don’t know how to deal with them.

For that reason, we set out to explain why you have trouble communicating with your girlfriend. Then, we give you the best tips on how to improve communication in a relationship and restore it to its former glory.

Why You Are Having Trouble Communicating With Your Girlfriend

Your relationship has hit a wall and, try as you might, you can’t seem to find the right words to get it back on track. To understand how to communicate with your girlfriend, you have to identify what is causing the misunderstanding between the two of you.

We won’t beat around the bush. The chances are that one of the following reasons hides behind your having trouble communicating with your girlfriend:  

1. You are trying too hard to talk things over. That’s why it may seem like you are speaking in a different language from your significant other.

2. You are expecting the other person to read your mind. The problem may arise from the lack of open communication between partners.

3. One of you is giving in. If one person is not having their needs met, it only makes things worse.

4. One of you is expecting the impossible. If you are not willing to reach a compromise, you cannot expect to move past your issues.

5. You are not looking at the problem from the other person’s perspective. The core of the problem could be in assuming your partner shares your view.

6. You are giving each other the cold shoulder. It may seem like turning a blind eye to the problems you have is the easiest way to go, but it just leaves the impression that you’re stonewalling your partner.

If what you saw above hits home, you need to read our guide on how to talk to your significant other. So without further ado, delve into the eight tried and tested ideas on how to communicate with your girlfriend!

Tips on How to Improve Communication in a Relationship

Tip 1: Don’t Underestimate the Power of Chit-Chat

If you are like most guys out there, you’re probably not the touchy-feely type. Expressing emotions might be a downright mission impossible for you.

That could be one of the main reasons you are having trouble communicating with your girlfriend. Fortunately, at times, not talking about how you feel and discussing anything else instead might have an even better effect on your relationship.

Besides, having a full-blown, in-depth conversation about feelings can be excruciatingly exhausting. Instead of wasting time and energy on clinging to every single emotion you feel and trying to put them into words, have a chat with your girl.

Give your relationship a breather from strenuous emotional conversations and get to know your girlfriend on another level.

Ask about her day. Show interest in her work. You may not be in the least curious about her office gossip, but letting her share that part of her world with you will refresh your communication.

You will see that your woman will appreciate the fact that you are interested in her views and hobbies. Hearing her opinion even on the most mundane topics — and inviting her to share them with you in the first place — is bound to bring you closer together.

Tip 2: Focus on What You Have in Common

Yes, it’s as simple as that. Bring to the fore the things that connect you instead of those that are bringing you apart.

Remind your girlfriend that the two of you are on the same side.

Talk about things you have in common, such as shared hobbies, friends you both know, or a problem you went through together.

Remembering those details will strengthen the bond you may have temporarily forgotten you have.

An even better solution is to do stuff together — go bike riding, binge watch your favorite TV shows, or make cupcakes together.

You will see how the conversation will come and flow naturally, and it will help you reconnect. That is bound to put you both in a good mood.

Tip 3: Learn How to Listen

Move past just hearing your girlfriend’s words and genuinely listen to what they have to convey. Active listening is a technique that shows you understand what you hear instead of just acknowledging it. 

If you are wondering how to communicate with your girlfriend, show her that you are listening to her.

Don’t just nod at her every word. Gestures are a big part of successful communication, but feel free to ask for clarifications if you need them.

Disagree with your girl if that is how you feel.  However, make sure you do it politely, as rude interruptions can only exacerbate the conflict.

Another useful tip is to repeat the key points your girlfriend is making. It will help you grasp their meaning better and etch them in your mind. It will also show your squeeze that you are actively participating in the conversation.

Tip 4: Never Assume Anything

You’ve probably heard the saying, “When you assume, you make an A** of U and ME.” If you’re having trouble communicating with your girlfriend, it could be because one of you is clueless about what the other is thinking.

Therefore:

Don’t rely on your psychic powers, and ask your girl if your assumptions are correct instead. It will ensure you are both on the same page throughout the conversation and will inevitably bring you closer together.

It is equally essential not to assume that your girlfriend understands how you feel or what you are talking about.

Remember that she cannot read your mind, and unless you speak clearly, she could be in the dark about what is troubling you.

Make sure that your significant other knows exactly what you mean by asking, “How does that sound to you?” or “What do you think?”

Tip 5: Honesty Is the Best Policy

When push comes to shove and you must have a serious talk with your lover, the most important thing is to be upfront with her. If you feel you don’t know how to communicate with your girlfriend anymore, the best approach is to have a heart to heart.

Lay all your cards on the table and open up about what you think the problem in your relationship is. Make sure that you say exactly what you mean and make yourself clear. Otherwise, you will not be able to get to the bottom of the problem and surpass it.

Tip 6: Say It to Her Face

When it comes to open communication, not everything boils down to words. Successful communication involves the whole picture — the words you say, your intonation, and your body language play their respective roles in equal measure.

That is why it is instrumental that you talk to your girlfriend face to face. When it comes to major conversations, avoid having phone calls or leaving cryptic messages on social media. Also, it is never a good idea to have important discussions via text messages.

Therefore, try to have the big talks in person, whenever possible. Alternatively, choose a private spot in your home and set up a video call with your girl. 

Tip 7: The Sandwich Method

You already know that speaking the truth is vital. What you likely don’t know is how to communicate with your girlfriend when what you have to say is unpleasant.

You surely want to avoid hurting her or making her feel under attack.

To curb such situations, try the sandwich method — it can be priceless in intimate conversations.

If you are familiar with this trick, you already know that wrapping the criticism with positive statements can work wonders. Think of them as the sandwich buns that will cushion the blow of what you are getting at. 

Begin by casually mentioning something you genuinely love about your girlfriend. It will start the talk on a positive note and make her feel appreciated.

Then, slowly lead to the point you want to make and be direct about it. When you’re done, don’t forget to reassure your lady that you love her and that you are convinced you’ll work that glitch out.

Tip 8: Stop With the Accusations

When you feel unhappy about something in your relationship and you feel the need to complain, think about how you do it.

The chances are that you act in a way that seems like you are accusing your significant other. If that is so, consider the effect it has on your girl. Unless she has indeed done something unforgivable, she is not the only guilty party for the problems you are going through.

So the next time you want to address an issue, focus on how you see the problem and not how she behaves or what she does.

For instance:

Instead of saying, “You are always late for our dates,” go with, “I feel really upset when I have to wait for you.”

The shift from “You” to “I” statements will have a positive, less accusatory effect on your better half and make the communication easier as a result.

The Takeaway

Every now and then, there comes a time when you have trouble communicating with your girlfriend. But when problems are shoved under the rug, it is easy for minor conflicts to escalate beyond all imaginable proportions.

If you feel your relationship is going that way, you have to take matters into your hands and learn how to communicate with your girlfriend.

Follow our guide, and don’t wait for things to turn ugly to work them out. Now that you know how to improve communication in a relationship, don’t waste another second but mend it.