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How To Be Cool In 5 Steps
Are you tired of always feeling left out? Are you always nervous to step out of your house for any sort of social gathering? Do you think you do not fit in well? Do you consider yourself uncool? If the answer to all of the above is yes, then you need to sit down, and rethink, because you’re absolutely wrong!
In our time today, we all strive to be the versions of ourselves that we’re absolutely not. We get inspired by people we think are cool, and eventually, end up losing originality in the process of being ‘cool.’
But what really is ‘being cool’?
It is highly subjective to explain the connotations of the term ‘cool.’ Everybody has a different opinion about what is cool for them. Is it assertive? Is it just the way you dress? Is it about having a mysterious vibe to yourself? The list could go on and on.
But if we condense the idea of the term “cool”, it mostly has to do about being your own self, confidently, and maybe sugar-coating your personality with a little bit of bling through your fashion sense. Without being needy and allowing others to dictate your way of being.
So, let's answer the question, how to be cool?
First and foremost:
Being fake definitely does not come under the radar of being cool. The ‘coolness’ we talk about does not come from building up a persona; rather, it is all about the confidence, your way of talking, and the way you handle situations.
Let's start off with the basics:
The exterior, A person’s posture:
Body language matters; it reflects your personality at all times. So, the way you stand, walk, and even sit has a lot to do with your overall appearance as a person.
Slouching or Slumping can give off a vibe of weakness, which totally detaches you from coming under the ‘coolness radar.’
Sitting/ standing straight and tall, and with a firm overall posture, reflects confidence, and often power.
The element of power is one of the larger chunks that make up a person's overall appearance to be cool.
It is said, the well-dressed you are, the more confident you feel. This could not have been truer. Studies have shown that people tend to dress according to their mood.
If you’re feeling sad, you’re more likely to wear unflattering clothes, according to research from the University of Hertfordshire.
However, experts believe you can actively improve your mood by wearing bright, well-fitting clothing. This theory—often called “dopamine dressing”—can help you feel happier and more confident, even on glum days.
Carolyn Mair, a psychologist who teaches college courses on fashion psychology, says, “When people believe in the symbolic meaning of their clothes, it can affect their cognitive processes, and part of those are your emotions.”
Hence wearing a statement outfit can aid you with making your overall appearance seem a whole lot cooler.
In fact, it is also true that people tend to like people who are dressed better, and the reasoning behind the idea of liking them is always the theory that better-dressed people seem to be more approachable and friendly.
Another study shows how the olfactory cues of humans, often relate certain smells with personalities.
So, if you tend to wear muskier, strong perfumes, you’re most likely to be considered a strong, assertive person, whereas if you wear sweet floral smells, you are more likely to fall under the sensitive and soft category.
However, if you plan to stick to your natural odor, there is a high chance that you might be committing social suicide, and considering, there is nothing cool about the smell of sweat, people might not want to be around you.
So, it is important, along with all other factors, to make sure you keep yourself clean, and you smell fresh.
If you like, throw on a pair of shades to add in the mysterious element, rock a leather jacket, and your best pair of pants.
All of this combined, and you’d for sure appear to be a much cooler person than you would’ve anticipated to be.
Now that you’ve built a cool exterior for yourself, it would not matter unless you feel like a cool person on the inside, so we will now move on to;
How to be cool, on the inside; Confidence.
A dictionary definition of the term confidence is “the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.” However, the true meaning lies in what you feel about yourself.
If you could apply the idea of having faith in someone, on your own self, that is when you know you are confident.
Confidence is trusting yourself with situations. If you’re confident enough, there is very little in the world you can’t go through.
Confidence is all about self-acceptance, taking risks, and believing that the end result will be beneficial for yourself.
If you have the confidence, you can make amazing first impressions, which also matter a lot when it comes to judging a person’s over personality, however, making great first impressions is also a task, but there is no need to worry. There is always a plan.
Being cool requires other’s validation that tells you that you fit in the cool persona radar. However, the validation always comes in the form of first impressions.
If you screw up the first impression, it might become difficult to change it. If you are interested in learning more about boosting your confidence, read this article.
Tips on how to make great first impressions:
First impressions are generally made in nanoseconds, so it is actually the tiniest possible things that matter, e.g.
Being on time
A firm handshake
Not shying away from making eye contact
Good ice breaking skills
Engage the other person into having a conversation
Finding common ground
Listening to the other person
Basic everyday manners/ etiquette
These few pointers come in hand, whether the first impression is being made at a date, a business meeting, family/friends, or even a job offer.
Whenever meeting someone for the first time, prepare beforehand, it always helps your case if you have a little bit of any sort of ice-breaking planned out.
Do a little bit of research and focus on the outcome you’re expecting out of the meeting and come up with a strategy to keep the conversation moving forward hence avoiding awkward silences.
As emphasized upon before, make sure to keep your power poses activated throughout the course of the first meeting.
Body language is key and can get you a great first impression if handled without overdoing it. Just a firm posture and neutral facial expressions that do not including smiling too much will do the job for you.
Make sure you do not shy away from making eye contact. Making eye contact is considered a great representation of assertive qualities, which reflects confidence.
Making eye contact also assures the other person that they’re being listened to.
However, also make sure you’re not the only one talking throughout the course of the meeting. It is important that the conversation is always inclusive of everybody around. After finding common ground, always make sure you ask questions.
This is so the other person gets an equal chance to engage and, at the same time, find more interesting ideas for the conversation to grow further.
One more thing to consider when trying to mark the first impression is that, even though they are made within the first few moments. They are ever-evolving.
So, even after the first meeting is taken care of, make sure you follow up, keep in touch, and make sure that the second time the meeting happens, you do not end up having to start all over again.
How to have a cool attitude: Charisma
People are generally looking for answers on how to be cool; they always have one thing in mind. How do people end up being so charismatic? What is the charm factor, and how people work their way around it?
Charm factor comes around from the idea of the love you receive from people around. It is more about how many people like you and your company and why.
As much as being assertive, mysterious and powerful looks cool, but there is always a fine line that turns these qualities into being rude, egoistic, or rather yet, stuck up.
Charisma comes from how you can deal with people; it comes from the way you speak and the way you handle people.
Now the question is, how or why do people ‘like’ other people? The answer is quite simple.
A human would like someone's presence as long as they're not problematic; they do not impose their opinions on people around them.
They're empathetic and benefit the people around them. Even if the benefit provided is maybe a gesture as small as putting a smile on a person's face.
So, in short, having that charismatic personality is not difficult. All it requires is the person to have the basic etiquette of being a human being.
It requires the person to be friendly, down to earth, politically correct, and a calm, soothing persona.
If you have the qualities that put you under the category of a good human being, then having the charismatic factor should not be much of a problem for you. All you need to work on is to confidently execute your outer persona for the people around you to experience.
Developing charisma can take time, that's why being social is important, you put yourself in more situations where you get to practice your skills, here is an article I wrote on becoming more social.
How to be cool by being well-informed:
Generally, a well-informed person is also always considered to be cool. Staying up to date with the latest news, knowing what goes around in the world around us, be it a crime, politics, news, entertainment, etc.
This not only puts you in the forefront as an intelligent person but knowing more about your surroundings, allows you to have more to converse about, which gives your charm factor a bonus point.
Moving forward to a stage further, where usually a person is further judged, is through their social media. In today's world, we make sure to check up on a person's social media to know more about them.
A great way to keep your social media calm and collected is not to have a lot going on. Your social media is a way to keep people updated about your life. Reddit is another great resource to follow the current topics.
Spamming your followers every day, with random images and opinions, is never a good idea.
Being open about your interests will help others connect better with you. Sharing your political opinions, and maybe even just a few ice breakers on your social media to interact with your followers is also a good way to keep your cool persona intact.
Social media could be a blessing for people wanting to be known. Your social media allows you to connect to a wider range of people, and they have a better chance to remember you through your social media.
If your social media content is interesting, and it reflects the unique aspects of yourself, and if it reflects the confidence you hold within yourself.
There is a much bigger chance that you would become a hot topic among your social circle.
This way, you could grab a lot of attention from people holding similar interests as yourself, and it would most definitely keep you popular in your area.
To conclude, be yourself and not pretend to be someone you’re most definitely not.
Because in the long run, you will need your own personality to shine, and once you have people accept you for who you are, there is no better feeling in the world.
Try to find the ‘cool’ within yourself; your uniqueness is what makes you cool.
Of course, popping up your sexiest pair of shades once in a while is always a good idea. Be cool, but be yourself while you’re at it.
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