How to Be More Likable: Make People Love You in 7 Easy Steps

Many people out there believe that being likable is something that you either naturally are or aren’t — yet that’s not true at all. Of course, some people are born with this perk, but this doesn’t mean that you can’t learn how to be more likable. That’s right — it is entirely under your control. 

Although shocking for many, your emotional intelligence plays a major role in your likability. A vast majority of people describe the likable kind as transparent, understanding, and sincere. You may believe that someone has to be physically attractive, talented, and outgoing to be likable. But, more often than not, that’s got nothing to do with it!

So, today, we’re going to learn how to be more likable in seven simple steps. Before we get to that, though, it’s important to emphasize what kind of behavior does the opposite, i.e., makes you unlikable.

If you want to explore more topics like this, visit our charisma resources here!

Signs You Are Unlikable

1. You’re Too Serious. It’s not a bad thing to be serious at work, for example, but you should loosen up from time to time. Have a chat with your co-workers every now and then, but don’t make it about work only. Try to be involved in the conversation and make it meaningful. 

2. You Often Brag But Try to Do It Subtly. Those are the most annoying kinds of braggers, the ones who seemingly make fun of themselves for ‘being nerds,’ for instance, but really just want to show how smart they are. Everyone sees through it, believe us.

3. You Love to Gossip. Gossiping is going to make you look like a distasteful, inappropriate, and rude person — and it definitely won’t make you likable. You can save the gossip session for your childhood best friend on a Sunday afternoon.

4. You Keep Looking at Your Phone. Nothing can end a conversation as abruptly as one of the participants glancing at their phone. It just shows that you aren’t committed to the conversation. Therefore, don’t do it — it’s really rude, and it makes you extremely unlikable. Make each conversation a phone-free session so that you can offer your undivided attention.

5. You Talk About Yourself Too Much. Oversharing can be a problem in the early stages of getting to know someone. Sure, it’s healthy to provide some information about yourself, but remember not to overdo it.

If you recognize yourself here, perhaps it’s time to change your life for the better and learn how to be more likable. Chances are, if you make an effort now, you’ll get to enrich your life with meaningful relationships and friendships later on.

Related: Nine things that make you unlikeable.

How to Become More Likable

1. Make Others Feel Good About Themselves

Unfortunately, it’s common for people to think that they’re taking something away from themselves if they compliment others. As a result, we all feel increasingly insecure about ourselves.

The truth is, you will not be inferior just because you compliment someone. Quite the contrary, you’re going to be perceived as a good person because you made others feel good. And believe us — it feels stupefyingly incredible to make people feel better about themselves.

You should also remember to ask people how they are doing — but mean it. Let them know that you actually care about their feelings and that you’re invested in what you’re about to hear. 

Because we’re all so self-absorbed these days, it’s no longer common to have someone truly listen to you. So, be that person for others! It pays off more than you can imagine, and it is a huge part of learning how to be more likable. After all, it has a direct impact on how others perceive you.

Related: Making others feel good about themselves.

2. Be Engaged in Conversations

Although it may sound like a cliché, social media has had a major impact on our engagement in conversations. However, this can be easily improved if we pay more attention to the people right before our eyes instead of our phones.

As we’ve previously stated, you should try to be a good listener too. Most people impatiently wait for others to finish what they’re talking about so that they can start talking about themselves. This is a big turnoff and is bound to just make you even more unlikable.

Additionally, try to ask some open-ended questions. Many of us love to discuss things we’re passionate about, so you can never go wrong with this advice. And if you find a topic that you, too, are interested in, that’s just a bonus. 

Related: 11 ways to be more engaging in conversations.

3. Talk About What They Want to Talk About

The only way for you to find out what the person in front of you wants to talk about is to ask a bunch of questions. It really isn’t that hard — we believe that you can figure out what they’re passionate about after asking less than five questions.

For example, you can ask about their most loved fictional character, which should tell you what their favorite movies or books are. Then, you could ask whether they’re a cat or a dog person and what their favorite music genre is. These are all excellent questions that will get you engaged in a fun conversation. In fact, they’ll allow for various follow-up questions that should deepen the connection.

In the end, the point is to make sure that you don’t end up talking about the weather. Instead, you’re supposed to learn new things about the person and get an idea of who they are and what their interests revolve around.

Related: Common interests.

4. Don’t Judge — Understand

Judging others has become some sort of a reflex for the majority of us by now. And having to teach yourself not to do it can be tricky, though certainly not impossible. 

First, you need to understand that everyone experiences, feels, and thinks in different ways. Just because that’s not how you think doesn’t mean it’s wrong.

Instead of judging someone for their behavior, try to understand it. Talk it through, and make sure that both of you are telling each other what you need to hear. Something you consider outrageous might be common for someone else, but to get on the same page, you need to communicate better.

This is where emotional intelligence plays its biggest role — but if you don’t have it, don’t worry about it too much. You can learn how to be more understanding of others through some self-work.

Related: Tips to handle conflict when you are working with your polar opposite. 

5. Develop a Sense of Humor

While it is true that not everyone is naturally funny, you can definitely develop a sense of humor — especially in tense situations. After all, humor usually comes down to good timing and being witty.

If you’re curious to know how to be more likable by cracking jokes, try lightening the mood in stressful situations. When you’re going through some rough time, humor is usually the very last thing anyone would expect — and that’s what makes it so fantastic. In essence, if you try to make such situations as lighthearted as possible for everyone around you, you will be greatly appreciated for it.

Related: How to develop a sense of humor.

6. Have a Positive Mindset

We’re all prisoners of our own minds — but it’s up to us to make that prison either heavenly or torturous. What’s more, people are capable of noticing what kind of mindset we have. Unsurprisingly, no one wants to hang around negative Nancies.

Working on our mindset is perhaps the hardest part of learning how to be more likable. Yet, it is certainly possible. What you can do is focus on the good things in life, even if they’re initially barely visible. This will help you turn your failures into valuable lessons and prevent you from dwelling on them too much.

Additionally, try to surround yourself with people who have positive vibes and outlooks. That should let you focus on the present and live in the moment, which will have the biggest impact on your mindset.

Related: How to achieve a positive mindset.

7. Work on Your Life Goals

Being around people who are passionate about what they do is extremely contagious. And you, too, can become that person. You just need to figure out what your life goals are and start working on them. Although it’s easier said than done, we’ll give you a few tips on how to go about it.

Before you do anything else, you need to focus on your commitment; if this is something you really want for yourself, then it shouldn’t be an issue to put as much effort into it as possible. Still, if you want to reach your goals, don’t focus on the results, but the knowledge you gain from the process.

Most importantly, don’t wait. We know it’s hard, but if you keep waiting for a better day, more motivation, or whatever else, you’re going to procrastinate to the point of no return. Unfortunately, no one else can really help you achieve your goals — making them a reality is your job only.

Related: Achieve what you want in life.

Conclusion

Our mission today was to help you learn how to be more likable, and hopefully, you will find a way to put these techniques to good use. We guarantee that you will receive instant bonus points from others if you start working on yourself as of today.  Remember that the sooner you start, the faster you will get your desired results. 

But most importantly, we should emphasize that kindness goes a long way. Therefore, wherever you are and whatever you’re doing, try to be thoughtful and considerate toward everyone you meet. Better still, enjoy the process of making people fall in love with you. Yes, it really is about to happen, so get ready!