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You become more attractive by training what people notice in the first seconds: clean grooming, clothes that fit, open posture, and real warmth toward the person in front of you. No single trait does it, and you don't need a rare gift. Pick one habit this week and keep it up until it feels normal.
Lists of traits promise a quick answer, but rooms reward what you actually practice.
You control more of how people read you than you admit, as long as you are willing to train it.
The short version
- Fix your grooming and clothes: people form an impression of your face in a tenth of a second.
- Walk in with your shoulders back and arms open: open posture went with more yes answers in two studies.
- Ask people about their work and listen, so strangers see that you mean well and can follow through.
- Build a life with friends, hobbies and plans. That gives people something to join.
- Drop contempt, constant negativity and checking your phone mid-conversation. They make people want to leave.
What can you actually train?
Grooming, clothes that fit, posture and warmth are the parts of attractiveness you can train. Start with grooming, because people size you up fast. In a 2006 set of experiments, people saw a face for a tenth of a second. Their ratings of attractiveness, likeability, trustworthiness and competence were very close to the ratings of people with no time limit.
Extra time mostly made viewers more confident in the rating. That first read happens before you say a word, so a scruffy first look may be hard to talk your way out of.
A clean shave, a haircut and clothes that fit are the parts of that look you can change. Style is respect for the room, not vanity. See hygiene and style basics.
Your body language adds to that first read, so it is the next thing to train.
How do posture and presence help?
Open, upright posture reads as confident before you speak. At a real speed-dating event, the more open and spread-out a person's posture was, the more likely he or she was to get a yes.
Each step up the researchers' openness scale (from average to noticeably more open) raised the odds of a yes by 76%. That study can't prove posture was the cause.
When researchers swapped open and closed photos on a dating-app profile, open photos got 27% more yes answers. This is not a pose for a camera. It means walking in without collapsing your shoulders or hiding behind your phone.
- Set a daily phone reminder that asks whether your shoulders are collapsed, and fix them if they are.
- Enter every room upright and on purpose, before you look for anyone.
Posture gets you noticed, and warmth decides whether people want to stay.
Why do people judge warmth before skill?
A 2007 review says people sizing up a stranger decide first whether he means well, and then whether he has the ability to act on it. It reports that people seen as both warm and capable get uniformly positive reactions, while people seen as high on one and low on the other get mixed ones.
A capable man who seems cold is hard to approach, so show you mean well. Smile when it fits, listen, and make people feel good about what they do. See likable and how to flirt for the exact words.
You: Yeah whatever, I'm kind of a big deal here.
You: Good to meet you — I'm __. What are you working on these days?
Them: Mostly a side project — music.
Looks and warmth help, but the life you lead gives people a reason to stay.
Is a full life one of the traits of highly attractive people?
Probably, though this is our read and not a study result. People who have friends, hobbies and plans give a new person something to join. Hosting and inviting people shows that, and it is harder to fake than boasting. Build that with social hobbies and friends.
Skill you can back up beats skill you announce. How to be more masculine goes further into proving skill through training and responsibility.
The last step is to drop the habits that push people away.
Which unattractive personality traits can you drop?
This is a list of behaviors you can change, not of people to look down on. We think these push people away. They are contempt for women or peers, constant negativity, poor hygiene, checking your phone in every conversation, getting anxious and texting again after one unanswered message, and status flexing that needs an audience.
Phones are a common worry. A 2013 study, as the 2021 repeat describes it, reported that strangers felt less connected when a phone sat unused on the table during a talk. A 2021 repeat with more than 300 people found no effect on closeness, so the phone itself is not proven to be the problem.
Putting it away still shows the person in front of you that they have your attention. Swap each habit for its opposite: curiosity, basic grooming, a warm exit.
“Good talking with you — let's grab a drink sometime if you're around.”
Questions you might have
Isn't attractiveness mostly genetics?
Genetics set a range. Grooming, health, social skill and warmth move you around inside that range, and most men probably use far less of it than they could.
What about "nice guys finish last"?
A fair guess is that people-pleasing loses, because people sense you have no limits. Being warm while keeping clear boundaries is a different thing, and it is a safer bet.
When not to
Never treat attraction advice as a license for disrespect or pressure after a no.
Your move this week
- Fix one presentation gap this week (haircut, fit shirt, grooming).
- Run one posture cue daily.
- Pick one habit from the list (sneering, complaining, checking your phone mid-conversation) and stop it for a week. Tell a friend so he can call it out.
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Cite this page
Nicolas Tailor. "How to Be More Attractive (Signals You Can Train)." SuaveWay, 3 October 2026, https://suaveway.com/blog/be-more-attractive/.
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# How to Be More Attractive (Signals You Can Train) You become more attractive by training what people notice in the first seconds: clean grooming, clothes that fit, open posture, and real warmth toward the person in front of you. No single trait does it, and you don't need a rare gift. Pick one habit this week and keep it up until it feels normal. The short version: - Fix your grooming and clothes: people form an impression of your face in a tenth of a second. - Walk in with your shoulders back and arms open: open posture went with more yes answers in two studies. - Ask people about their work and listen, so strangers see that you mean well and can follow through. - Build a life with friends, hobbies and plans. That gives people something to join. - Drop contempt, constant negativity and checking your phone mid-conversation. They make people want to leave. From SuaveWay: https://suaveway.com/blog/be-more-attractive/